After it All Happened
by hey there lila
Summary: How did Cho really feel about Cedric's death? What will she do afterwards? Read to find out. Sorry, the story is much better than the summary
1. Chapter 1

When You Look in the Mirror- What Do You See

The Truth

A/N- This is my first fan fiction-let me know what you think. Reviews are appreciated and tell we if you want me to write more/ would actually read it. It could be a one shot, or not-depends on how I feel tomorrow . As you can tell, Cho was never one of my favorite characters, but I promise, she gets nicer throughout the story.

"Hey Cho, are you ready yet?" her roommate, Becca, called softly through the cracked door, "I'm about to head down to the Great Hall, you want me to wait?"

Cho slowly opened her eyes, waiting for the blinding light coming from the split in her curtains to take effect on her swollen eyes. For just that moment, when she was transitioning from sleep to slowly awakening, she had forgotten all that had happened- Cedric's death, her nights spent crying into her pillow. As she finally woke up, all the memories came flooding back.

She hadn't really loved him, that had been the perception, but it was a lie far from the truth. Cho Chang had loved the idea of Cedric Diggory; the school champion, the one that all the teachers loved, the boy that her friends secretly lusted after. Beyond that, he was just a friend, someone to laugh with about the teacher's hit and miss jokes, share homework answers, and stay up late with. But deep down he was the same as everybody else, shallow, confused, selfish, wanting to find what he was really supposed to be doing-a far cry from the school's golden boy. Cho couldn't say that she was really any different, she was no martyr, she wanted what he wanted, what he had wanted, to be successful, popular, the school celebrity. They had been the perfect couple in that respect; they enabled each other to live the charmed life, the life of one of the popular kids. There was nothing wrong with that, but it wasn't love, or anything remotely close.

They weren't awful people, she missed him, he had cared about her, but they were never destined for the happily ever after that everyone else had mapped out for them. Now that he was gone, dead in the Tournament that he had lived for, she was obligated to play the role of the devastated girlfriend. Everyone had thought she had lost her one true love, the boy that she was going to marry one day, but in fact they had only ever been friends that let a rumor of love go too far.

The day that he had left her alone, materialized dead on the field with Harry Potter at his side, she had cried, the same as every other girl there that day. But now she had to start the act-the poor girlfriend whose hopes and dreams with Cedric "golden boy" Diggory had been dashed. She missed her friend, her fellow student, but nothing more. She was expected to greet his parents, stand in front of the school, as if her grief was more important that anybody else's. What about his best friend, the second year with the massive crush on him who had retraced his every step, Harry Potter? Weren't they the ones that deserved the comfort, flowers, and sympathetic glances? But if Cho ever voiced this to anyone she would be labeled cold and heartless, not even caring enough about her supposed true love to grieve properly.

When Cho awoke the day of Cedric's memorial service she, glanced at herself in the mirror old propped up beside her bed with an old Charms essay magically attached to the side. Her black hair glided down her small shoulders and fell into her face, masking the eyes slightly swollen from tears, last night's makeup clumped around her eyes, streaks of eyeliner running down her face. Cho saw the desperation in her glinting brown eyes and the tired lines surrounding her lashes. She knew she was beautiful, her modesty was only a ruse, but this morning she couldn't see it. It wasn't that she looked awful; she had looked this way yesterday morning and the morning before, but that she looked defeated, as if the purpose has left her face. She could no longer see the drive in her eyes or the small smile playing on her lips, only her basic features shown through the hurt and pain.

Cho remembered the day that she had met Cedric. It hadn't been the fairy tale that everyone would have imagined. He hadn't saved her from an evil dragon or shared a kiss with her under the stars. People made up the stories to keep in illusion of the perfect couple alive, but in truth it had been a simple first date. Nothing out of the ordinary. She had first noticed him in the library in her fourth year. He had been laughing with a group of friends hoping to study for a Potions exam. It wasn't the love at first sight, or love at 100th sight for that matter, that she had always dreamed of, but he was already popular, athletic, and seemed nice enough. A few weeks later he had approached her at dinner, much to the delight of her friends, asking if she would join him in Hogsmeade. Their date had been normal, nothing special, not the stuff of great romances. But as soon as they started to be seen together more and more often, the rumors began to fly. Soon, they stopped denying them, and suddenly Cedric Diggory was her boyfriend. She knew that they were never going to get married, or even stay together past his graduation, she never harbored any unrealistic desires. He would help her with her Potions homework, occasionally he would say something romantic, or bring her flowers on Valentine's Day, but they had never been in love or anything remotely close to it. They let people talk, say whatever they wanted to, but Cedric and Cho had never really been more than friends.

She knew that when she got down to the Great Hall, she would hear the sympathetic murmurs whispered in her direction, but she didn't need their sympathy. She missed him, but no more than any other student in that room. She missed having someone to complain about the homework to or to look to for cheering up. Everyone would see the pretty girl who had lost everything she had ever wanted, but only Cedric, if he was out there somewhere, could see the real Cho Chang. She quickly got dressed and threw her hair up into a ponytail and joined Becca for the long walk to the Great Hall.


	2. Chapter 2

After it All Happened After it All Happened

What is Next?

A/N- Disclaimer (sorry I forgot to put it in my first chapter)- I own nothing but my original characters and the plot line. I wish I owned Harry Potter, but unfortunately, that is just not the case! Read and review. Tell me what could make it better/what you want to happen. Sorry, this is a short chapter, and also sorry about the story going a bit slow, there's going to be more action soon- never fear, I have a plan!

The memorial service was hell on earth for Cho. She couldn't imagine anything worse than sitting on the cold, hard bench with hundreds of eyes drilling into her. Even the teachers seemed to be searching her face for any sort of reaction. When the first tear left her eye, she could sense the collective pity of the Great Hall.

Becca leaned towards Cho, and whispered, "You need anything? We could go if it's too hard."

Cho shook her head no.

She knew that no matter how much she wanted to leave, she never could. Becca, her best friend and roommate, was the only person that Cho had ever confided in about her wavering feelings about Cedric. Becca was tall, with long blond hair that she had magically highlighted with streaks of pink. She and Cho had met on their first day of school and had become friends, despite significant personality differences. Becca was the crazier of the two. She was the one who was always sneaking out after dark or magically charming her socks to sing Christmas carols during the holidays. She was the only one who really knew how difficult this was for Cho.

Somebody, a student that Cho had only met once was reading something about Cedric. "Cedric embodied all that Hogwarts stands for- brave, loyal, smart. He was a friend to all, he never looked down on anyone who needed help." Cho halfway listened as the tearful girl choked through her generic speech. Her attention began to wander.

Cho noticed Harry Potter diverting his eyes when she caught him staring at her. Every once and a while he would glance at Cedric's crying parents, but for the vast majority of the time he elected to stare at the floor. Cho attempted to keep from staring at Harry during the service, but whenever her eyes would stop, they always seemed to land on him. She finally settled on staring at her other best friend's untied shoelace sprawled out on the tiles.

Nate completed the three best friends- Cho, Becca, and Nate. He was conventionally handsome, but neither Cho nor Becca ever really seemed to notice. They had known him as a scrawny first year, before puberty kicked in. He looked over at her worriedly, silently asking her if she was all right. Cho shock her head softly so that her ponytail quivered slightly, but managed to eek out a small smile.

As soon as the ceremony was finished, Cho, Becca, and Nate retreated to the common room. Cho had never been so glad to leave the Great Hall. She wiped her tears on the back of her sleeve, vowing that they would be her last, Becca and Nate draped themselves over one couch while Cho perched on the arm.

"I can't believe you actually failed that Care of Magical Creatures quiz, Nate," Becca joked.

"Yeah, even I managed to get at least an 85 (A/N- I mean percent)," Cho laughed.

"In my defense, I was blinded by my best friends' amazing beauty. What respectable teenage boy would be able to concentrate with you two around?"

"Stop flirting. You know it won't get you out of having to write to your parents to tell them about your little failure. Imagine how proud they'll be. They can tell all their important friends that their son managed to be the only one in the class to fail," Becca smirked.

"You've conveniently forgotten that you were just 1 point away from failing that potions test last year," Cho pointed out, looking at Becca

"Yeah, but that's potions. Its different."

"Really? What about in first year Charms? Was that different too?"

As Becca and Nate continued their banter without her, Cho realized that this was the first time in a long time that she felt even close to normal. It was a nice feeling, not having to pretend to be all right.

As the conversation lulled into a silence, Nate got up and stretched, "I think I'm going to send that letter to my parents now. Better late than never."

"I'll go with you. I actually should send a letter to my parents telling them that I'm doing okay with everything that's happened."

Nate let Cho step out into the corridor first and they slowly made their way towards their owls.

"Cho?" Nate said catching her eye as they walked in unison.

"Yeah…"

"You know that I'm never one for talking about feelings, but if you ever wanted to talk, about, um, you know," Nate said, rubbing his temple, "all that happened, or whatever, you could come to me."

Cho smiled at Nate's attempt to be emotional, "Thanks Nate. And I know. That's why I loved you," she said throwing her arms playfully around his neck.

"Well, I just wanted you to know," Nate laughed, attempting to disentangle himself from Cho's hug.

It felt good to be able to laugh again. Without a doubt, the sadness was still there, like a weight on her shoulders, but at least she had tricked herself into forgetting about it. At least it gave her a second to pretend like everything was going to go back to normal.


	3. Chapter 3 True Feelings

A/N- Same disclaimer as always- I in no way own Harry Potter, only Becca, Nate, and my original plot line

A/N- Same disclaimer as always- I in no way own Harry Potter, only Becca, Nate, and my original plot line. If you're actually reading this, please review. It will make me very happy and more likely to write quickly :). Also, just clarifying, this all takes part in the last week and a half of school, so after the triwizard tournament. I know that in the book, they went to summer much more quickly, but for the purposes of this story, I changed it a bit. Also, classes are done, they're just there for the week. Thanks!

True Feelings

Cho stretched her arms out in front of her and slowly brushed the sleep out of her eyes. She threw the covers over to the left, and winced as her once warm feet touched the ice-cold tile. Becca was quietly snoring in the bed across the room, her mouth hanging wide open.

"Becca, wake up. We were supposed to meet Nate five minutes ago," Cho hissed, gently shaking her.

Becca threw her arm wildly in the air, narrowly missing Cho's face, "It's too early. Give me fifteen more minutes."

"Sorry, time to get up, you don't have choice," Cho said, ripping the covers off of Becca.

"Oh, I am so going to get you," Becca shrieked, suddenly awake, "that's right, you better run," she yelled to Cho who was running towards the bathroom laughing.

Cho took a quick shower, throwing her messy hair up into a ponytail. This being one of the only days that she escaped the tyranny of school robes, she chose to wear distressed jeans with a long black tee shirt. One of the perks of being a witch, she magically applied her makeup without ever having to worry about smudging her eye shadow or picking the wrong lip gloss color.

When Cho left the bathroom, Becca was already dressed and sitting on her bed.

"You ready?" Cho asked.

"Yeah, just let me grab my jacket. It looks like it might rain today," Becca said already searching for her coat that seemed to be stashed somewhere underneath her bed.

"Where were you guys?" Nate asked once he spotted Cho and Becca running down the stairs, "I've been waiting for like fifteen minutes."

"Sorry, _somebody_ wouldn't wake up."

"Hey, that's not fair. You didn't give me _sleep transition_ time," Becca called out from the middle of the stairs, trying, and failing, to hide her laughter.

The three walked down to breakfast side by side, with Nate and Becca on either side of Cho. They sat down at the empty end of the table and quietly served themselves. They ate almost in silence, still waking up from sleep. The only sounds at the table were the faint mummer of other conversations, and the chewing sounds produced by the group. Just as Cho looked up from her toast and eggs to ask Nate to pass the pumpkin juice, she felt a faint tap on her shoulder.

"Hey Cho. Um, I was sort of wondering if you wanted to like take a walk with me or something," Harry asked from behind her.

Nate stood up, putting a protective arm around Cho, "Sorry, we had plans today. She can't," he said coolly.

"Nate, it's fine. I'll just meet up with you guys later. Harry, you want to go now?"

"Okay. Whatever. I guess we'll just go hang out and you can find us later," Nate mumbled surprisingly rudely as Becca shot Cho a sympathetic glance.

This whole time Harry was looking slightly uncomfortable. He shifted his weight from foot to foot and readjusted his glasses several times. "Okay, so, um, if you're ready, let's go," he stuttered to Cho.

Cho threw one last glance at Becca, pointedly ignoring Nate, and followed Harry out of the Great Hall. Once they reached the lake, Harry motioned for Cho to sit beside to him.

"So," Cho said, trying to ignore the awkward silence, "what did you want to talk about?"

"Um. I don't actually really know. I thought you might be one of the only people who understood what was going on. And I also sort of," he paused to look at his feet, "um wanted to apologize to you."

"Why would you apologize to me?" Cho blurted out, less tactfully than she had intended to.

Harry was silent for a minute before rapidly speaking. "Because I couldn't save him. And now he's dead and he's never coming back. And now you have to deal with that. And I didn't think I could leave for the summer without saying anything to you, " Harry said, his voice breaking at the end, "And I know that this may sound cliché or something, but I feel like I let everyone down. I saved myself before I saved him. I should have done more, I could have done more."

The air suddenly turned cooler and Cho felt her airways constrict. She didn't know what to say to that. Harry had been more honest that she had ever imagined, or ever could be herself.

She paused before speaking, "I don't know what to say to that, but that you're wrong," Cho whispered, looking at her feet, "how could I blame you when you didn't do anything wrong? _I_ could have saved him. He would have listened if _I _would have told him not to enter. "

Cho's first tear of the day rolled down her cheek.

Harry looked shocked that Cho was crying, and that he had been the one to cause it. "Cho, I'm really sorry, I thought that this would make you feel better. And, you know, he never would have listened if you had told him to drop out. He loved that game," Harry paused to run his hand through his hair and glance sideways at Cho's tears, "I really didn't mean to upset you like this."

"No, no, this isn't your fault. None of it is. I've just been crying a lot lately, as you might have guessed," Cho smiled slightly, her attempt to lighten the mood falling flat.

Harry looked down and silently picked at a blade of grass, "Well, I guess I just wanted to let you know that. I sort of just needed to tell you."

"I know. Me too. And Harry," Cho paused, "thank you for being the first person to be honest with me."

Harry didn't have to reply to Cho. He just turned to look at her and smiled. At that moment the sky lit up and the first crack of thunder pierced the cool morning air. Cho jumped up and looked up at the sky, "The storm must be close." And with that, the rain began to pour down.

Without saying a word, they both took off at a run for the castle. By the time they reached the door, they were both out of breath and soaked from head to toe. Before going in, Cho stopped to look at Harry. "Thank you," she said simply. Harry didn't need to say anything, he just nodded.

Cho ran back up into the common room, taking off her wet shoes and jacket. Not looking where she was going in her hurry to get into dry clothes, she bumped into Nate's chest.

"You have a good time?" he asked with a newfound edge in his voice.

"What's up with you Nate? First this morning at breakfast and then now? If you have a problem deal with it, but don't get at mad at me. I can't deal with this right now," Cho said much more harshly than she had originally intended.

Nate took a deep breath and dropped his head to look Cho in the eyes, "I'm sorry. I know you don't need this right know. There's just something about that Harry Potter that I don't like."

"Maybe you just don't know him very well," Cho said much more kindly this time, "Well, I should go get changed, but first, I want to give you a big hug," she giggled.

Nate, noticing Cho's sopping wet clothes, took off at a run up the stairs, "No, you can't get me," he laughed from the top of the stair case.

"I'm coming to get you!"

Cho took the stairs two at a time attempting to catch Nate. It felt good to have her friend acting more normally. She was going to need him now, more than ever.


	4. Chapter 4

Everything's Wrong Everything's Wrong

A/N- Same disclaimer that has been in the past three chapters- I don't own Harry Potter. I also wanted to apologize for some of the formatting issues I've been having. I really can't figure out why the computer has decided to repeat the first part of my author's note. Yes, I know that computers don't have a brain and I'm sure it's something that I'm doing. Also, a huge thanks to everyone who has reviewed! Thanks and keep reading!

"Hey, Cho," Becca said coming into their dorm room, "What have you been up to?"

"Oh, not much. I just got back from my walk. We got lucky, actually, and got back before the worst of storm came in," Cho gestured to the raging storm taking place outside of the window.

"So, what did you talk about," Becca pried, pointedly glancing at Cho.

"Not much really. We just sort of talked. I can't really describe it."

"Sure. I'm sure you talked about nothing," Becca's voice grew quiet and she paused to look out at the storm, "Um, I was kind of wondering if you were up for another talk. I've had something that I wanted to tell you for awhile now, before, you know, everything."

Cho wasn't really sure that she was up for another talk. She was convinced that she had cried her quota of tears for one day. She couldn't handle talking about Cedric any more. She wanted to move on, but it seemed as if all everyone else ever wanted to do was drag it out longer.

"Okay, sure," she said slowly, "What did you want to talk to me about?"

Becca moved over so that she was sitting beside Cho on her bed. She let her legs dangle so that her feet were just touching the floor and then readjusted so that she was sitting cross-legged. Another flash of lightning lit up the dark room. "I guess, um, I kind of wanted to tell you something, but I'm scared that you'll be mad," Becca practically whispered, "and I don't want you to think that I don't care about you or that I'm being selfish."

"Becca, what's wrong? You can tell me anything, it's fine. Please, this is so not like you."

"Um, well," Becca stopped to look at the floor, "I think I might like Nate, you know, _like _him, _like_ him," she blurted out.

Cho didn't know what to say. She just looked at Becca blankly. She wasn't mad, just surprised. Becca made a move to get up off the bed, but Cho grabbed her hand and pulled her back down, "Why would I be mad at you? I just want you both to be happy. You should talk to him."

Becca looked shocked, "You know I can't do that! It would ruin our friendship. I'll get over it, I have to. I only have to be around him for a couple more days until we go home. It's fine, but you can't say anything to him. Seriously, you really can't."

"If you don't want me to, I won't. But I honestly think you should," Cho paused to look at Becca, "You'll always regret it if you don't."

"And you're sure that you don't, you know, _like_ him or something?" Becca asked looking embarrassed by her own question.

"Of course not. Why would you think something like that? He's my friend and besides, I'm not even near ready to like anyone yet like that. I just need my two best friends, and I can't have them if you two are uncomfortable around each other."

Becca looked relieved and a slight smile played on her lips, "Oh come on, I'm sure someone as _popular_ as you could find replacement best friends within the hour," she joked.

"Yeah right, like that Marietta who follows me around constantly. Or Emily, who told me that she wants to be just like me. I'm sure we could become the best of friends," Cho said, sarcasm dripping from her voice.

"She seems nice…enough. We should invite her to have dinner with us."

"That's just what I need, another person looking at me like I'm some sort of poor little girl."

"Okay well, since apparently we need to stay your best friends in order to save you from your fan club, I'm going to go for walk. I need to clear my head and think about whether I should talk to him."

"You're going out in this weather? You're going to get soaked, look at how hard it's raining," Cho said pointing out the window towards the large black clouds blanketing the sky.

"That's why I'm lucky that I paid attention in Charms this year," Becca pointed her wand at herself and said something incomprehensible. Suddenly, she was covered with a clear coating over her clothes. If Cho hadn't known to look for it, she never would have noticed that it was there. "I actually learned how to do something useful."

Cho waved goodbye to Becca as she walked out the door, and rolled onto her stomach. She reached down under her bed and pulled out a black leather bound book. The pointed her wand at it, and the little lock popped open. Cho shifted her weight onto one side and reached over to her bedside table. There, she found the quill that Cedric had given her last Christmas and a small pot of ink. She brought the writing supplies back to her lap and opened the journal to one of the first pages.

_Dear Diary,_

_Too much is going on. Just when things were starting to seem like they might be getting closer to normal, Becca has to ruin it. It's not her fault, I'm just being selfish, but I can't handle this. I need my best friends, and what happens if he doesn't like her the way she likes him? I know that I told her to go ahead and take the leap, but that's not really what I want her to do. I want her to be happy, I really do, but I want to be happy too. I want her to go back to normal, I want everyone to just go back to normal. I want Cedric to come back so I can go back to wishing I was in love with him, and I want Nate and Becca to go back to being my best friends. I need them, and what if once they are together, they stop needing me? I can't take that. I can't take being alone. Even now, sitting in the dorm room alone, I wish that someone would come in and sit with me. I need them to save me from my thoughts and the hurt. I just want to be a normal teenager again, before all of this happened. Life was so much more simple back then. I wasn't exactly happy, but I was normal. I didn't have people judging me or thinking that I should by crying more or crying less or sitting in the corner all by myself thinking about Cedric. I just miss him. I miss my old life. I'm dreading going back home. My parents don't understand. They think that they can tell me everything is going to be alright, and it will be. Everything is not going to be alright. They don't understand that, I'm not sure that even I fully understand that._

Cho put her quill down just as the first tear hit the page. As it dropped, it blurred the words on the parchment, melting the words together. Cho hadn't started writing until the night that Cedric had died. Before that night, she had never had an interest in keeping a diary; she hadn't seen a point to it. Everything she had felt, she could tell her friends. Now, she had feelings that she could barely comprehend. Sometimes, they were terrible, and selfish, but she could not deny their truth. She told her diary things that would make other people hate her.


End file.
